Dr. Zeus – Book I – Canto XXVII

Of another new god
Whom the thief’s do laude
Of his wits and his guile
All done with a smile
Of how he Apollo did cross
But in the end it wasn’t a loss
Of how to Olympos him I did raise
Where the best of the gods spend all of their days
-Oh halcyon Muses nine-
For your version I simply haven’t the time
He is my son so I’ll tell the tale
Of how his crime did him unveil
His nature carefree and testing of bounds
How any restriction he’ll dance all around
Now I’ll get to the point and no longer shall prattle
And sing how he stole all of those cattle

The Son Of Pleiades Who Escorts Men To Hades

All though Apollo was gone a whole week
We never did worry – did never him seek

Our jubilant joy was too great to end
And we knew that he could for himself fend

To this grand celebration all our our kin came
Including all those with unrecognized name

For we made merry for the sake of us all
‘Cause to the giants we gods didn’t fall

And as it does happen we freely did fuck
All were so open, to privacy none snuck

We threw off all shackles – thought nothing taboo
No one was judged for what they did do

For here, for now, freedom was all
For from our station we nearly did fall

So many young gods on that day were conceived
When to Desire at the party we kneed

Aphrodite and Ares did three kids create
For Cupid’s arrow did drive them to mate

Deimos and Phobos the two twins of fear
Harmonia too, who to balance will stear

With Maia that pleiad did I then lay
So too a son we did make on that day

But even joy’s flames have to burn low
So back to our homes each us did go

And Maia was always a bit of a hermit
Solitude, it seemed, she truly did yearn it

Thus when ‘twas time to bear our new son
To her aid no one did come

Even my wife did not her assist
(Although it this case she’d hardly insist)

For simply put – none of us knew!
So there was nothing at all that any could do

So she soon swaddled Hermes our newly born son
Unknowing the transgressor he yet would become

For almost immediate he escaped from his crib
And in all his actions he ever was glib

So without second though he decided to try
To steal the first cattle he ever did spy

But surely with heard he’d be easy to track
But skill with deception he sure didn’t lack

So thus he snuck of to a village nearby
And moved as a shadow – he’s ever so sly

Without being noticed he stole every shoe
And with them no one could guess what he’d do

He fit every one onto every cows foot
So no hoof would print in dirt grass or soot

And thustly he lead them back to his home
Into his cave so they wouldn’t there roam

Two he then slaughtered and ate them right up
And later he planned on the others to sup

But first he left to return to his mother
But along the way he did a tortoise uncover

It was eating some grass, hidden in shade
And a thought struck Hermes on what could be made

He then killed the creature and hollowed it out
As Apollo did at his missing heard shout

So as Hermes was creating the very first lyre
Apollo was lit with deep vengeful fire

But the plan of his brother did work very well
And where they had gone could Apollo not tell

At the village he decided to look
And ask all the people whose shoes Hermes took

But they didn`t know where the cattle did go
Though they searched for the thief both high and low

And though Hermes’ act Apollo true knew
He didn’t then act for ‘twas not what he’d do

Instead he prepared a ritual grand
Which allowed him to see what his brother had planned

For though he knew that Hermes did mock
He needed the rites to that knowledge unlock

So now that he knew what he had already known
He set off to Cyllene to make Hermes atone

But when he arrived Hermes did claim
That it hadn’t been him – ‘gainst the truth he did strain

He said that the flock was already there
That no hoof he led to his lair

His deceptions, this time, they wouldn`t him aid
He pushed too far and a price would be paid

But as Apollo considered what punishment best
He saw Hermes’ lyre where it did rest

“What’s this?” he asked when he did it regard
“A new addition to the tools of the bard?

“Such a contraption I never have seen
It’s clearly just made for its condition’s pristeen

“Perhaps my brother we two can trade
And with this lyre your debt will be paid”

Now Hermes, this offer, he took it at once
It was the easy way out and he wasn’t a dunce

If he and Apollo could part on a good term
For nothing else did he then yearn

Thus Apollo did expand his domain
And over music he tightened his reign

But I, from this, of Hermes took note
How he stole from Apollo yet didn’t get smote

And the fight with the giants one thing had proved
That our needs of commune need be improved

And Hermes, he, my newly born son
Showed a great herald he soon could become

For he was truly the swiftest of all
And boundaries him, they just didn’t stall

So boots staff and cap, I gave for his station
To let him fly faster o’er all of creation

And as he passed by all life below
A thought in my mind started to grow

For while we indeed the humans did rule
They, to us, were merely a tool

There was only one who the humans did steward
He whom I before on Ida had skewered

It was time perhaps to alter our way
And to the humans attention now pay

Dr. Zeus – Book I – Canto XXV

Of our newly formed kin
Who were built for my sin
Of our savior my son
We due to whom won
Of our long epic battle
On which no one does prattle
Of Earth so patient and willing to wait
For none can forever outrun their own fate
-Oh halcyon Muses nine-
For your version I simply haven’t the time
No one wishes this story to hear
For for their cause no one sheds tear
Even those bards from off to the west
Change our opponent is this very test
So it I shall sing – its vigor renew
And show what gods are willing to do

Twas By Way Of Giant That Earth Stood Defiant

My son Herakles, was at last in our ranks
And to his presence I had to give thanks

For now that they knew, that they saw he was real
‘Bout me it changed how my family did feel

They now understood what was at stake
The threat of the monsters grandmother did make

So we rallied together and readied for war
One of a kind not seen before

I even recalled all those who shine
For soon she’d attack, come for what’s mine

But she didn’t – she waited – I knew for not why
And once ‘gain they watched me with mistrustful eye

And while Herakles all them adored
They thought him a bluff; for they’d gotten so bored

They started to think that my warnings were fake
They started to go, to leave of me take

They wandered the world, went off on their own
It seemed that Earth wished me alone

But I still wasn’t worried, least not at first
However adventure is Herakles thirst

He was wishing to his new godhead test
And left for the wilds with all of the rest

I just should have known that if he be the key
An escape from defeat grandmother would see

She outwitted her husband, her crafty son too
Why did I think that I could it do?

So now in the heavens there were very few left
And of hope I soon was bereft

For she now saw her chance, and did open wide
Let out her children, her new joy and pride

Their tactics were simple, of minds immature
We might have a chance if we didn’t them lure

For though their strength was the greatest around
They simply threw rocks and trees from the ground

Their makeshift missiles proved not a threat
I need rally my army – ‘twas not over yet

Apollo I sent to gather those gone
I knew that he would – he for glory does fawn

But as soon as he left Ares jumped out
He hoped, the giants, to engage in a bout

Oh why did he do this?  Did he think that he led?
Truly my son is thick in the head

So in and amongst them and armed for a fight
Quickly he learned his limits of might

For before he landed one single blow
He was punched in the gut and ichor did flow

And holding his gore they left him behind
For now they saw the strength of their kind

But just as they did at our encampment arrive
Apollo returned – he our army did drive

And at the head of that magnificent column
Stood proudly our saviour as I fondly do call him

But Earth had a trick, one final trap
Hoping that Nike would fall in her lap

For Gaia is tricksy – in layers does plan
No one’s as wily as dear old grand nan

Prometheus told her of our trip to the east
Whilst on his liver that eagle did feast

Ushtapushtin, his herb, that she would use
Make the giants immortal so they can’t to us lose

But for a change, for the only time ever
One proved her equal, one proved as clever

For this I foresaw for I went there with him
And I do not command simply on whim

Hence why Helios, Selene, and Dawn rosy fingered
Why I told them to vanish, hurry don’t linger

I wished them to fight, that’s what all of them thought
But while Gaia did wait, I, Zeus, did plot

So when she found that plant, withered and dead
She knew that I would come out ahead

Then now we had just one thing to do
To cut them all down to see this war through

Athene was first, showed why she is feared
Why the giants never her neared

She had Pallas’s skin whom she did flay
Wore it over her own and madly did bay

Fearful of her she drove them to trap
To the sound many fell of my thunderclap

Encaledos escaped and did try to flee
But she crushed him with Sicily out in the sea

The others that straggled were picked off with ease
A scene most worthy of fresco or frieze

But then the two of them greatest crashed into our ranks
They did me surround, they did me then flank

They struck and they struck – I realed every blow
But them came a shot from the field down below

Herakles’ arrow flew straight through the air
They couldn’t react, they only could stare

It drove right into Pophyrion’s neck
He fingered the arrow as the wound he did check

For neither his mind nor his body then knew
That just injured once, his life was now through

Alcyoneus too was mortally hit
But it seemed not to bother, not even a bit

He simply reached up and pulled the shaft out
Despite that of victory there was not any doubt

For pale eyed Athene is so very wise
‘Tis one of the reason that does Ares despise

For while he is left with his bowels in his arms
She saw the cause of regenerative charms

“Remove him from here” Athene did say
“Out of Pallene him we can slay

“For as long as he stays where he was birthed by his mother
From any wound he will forever recover

“So just drag him out, then end his life
For he is the last, with him end our strife”

Thus the last of the giants, least the last of that batch
Was put in the ground from which he did hatch

It was over and done! we finally won!
The ruler of gods they didn’t become

But Earth is a schemer though of magnanimous heart
She would later again in our affairs take a part

But now was a time for reval and joy
As Apollo snuck off and did a serpent destroy

Dr. Zeus – Book I – Canto XXIIII

Of the best of them
And how he must fall
Of happiness fleeting
And passion’s defeating
Of my cruel twist of fate
So he wouldn’t be late
Of the arrogant wretch he finally became
Just so our house could remain still the same
-Oh halcyon Muses nine-
For your version I simply haven’t the time
Never again will I sing of my son
For soon enough he will be undone
Ever my mind is not sacrosanct
On no hope or god can existence be banked
So now all of you listen, weep and then wail
As he unravels right here, in this very tale

We Did Wait With Baited Breath For My Son Alceides’s Death

Alceides did know what must inexorably be
Thus he lived for the moment, his spirit was free

At first he did blubber and mournfully cried
Now he cared not what he left when he died

For now he knew true what came of the dead
Of what humans ‘came when they weren’t to life wed

They’d flit, they’d flicker down in Dis’s domain
They’d not even ‘member their very own name

Everyone shares this very same fate
And in this way does all life relate

Only in song can dead spirits dwell
But it’s hardly the same – as any can tell

In time he did realize – it just didn’t matter!
Why should he care if men his deeds flatter

For when he is dead, to him it’s the same
If they attribute his actions to Herakles name

Time itself may twist and be bent
But from he him himself they couldn’t be rent

He may be destroyed – his deeds they’d undo
But for now and for him they’d always be true

So for lust, so for sorrow, for the joy of it all
Into inaction he never would fall

Thus Deianeira, his love and his wife
With her he lived out his glories and life

But the cause of his end had already been set
It just, to him, hadn’t come yet

For some time before they came to Nessos’s river
Who would, postmortem, my son’s death deliver

As a ferry himself he had there set
And all of their deaths would this decision beget

For Alceides himself would swim to the bank
While Deianeira perched on Nessos’s flank

But the centaur’s mind was swollen with lust
And he wasn’t one that women could trust

For Alceides is swift as he is strong
And crossed the river before very long

Nessos then chose actions perverse
Of what he could do nothing was worse

He grabbed and he groped, he acted untoward
Deianeira’s desire, her pleas he ignored

Back he returned to their starting shore
While on ears deaf she still did implore

But there was one who did listen – there was one who did care
Alceides, her husband, for her he was there

But he was unsure if he could reach them in time
If he could stop Nessos’s crime

So he elected instead to take out his bow
And draw back the string, aim careful and slow

As straight as Apollo’s his arrow then flew
And Nessos’s torso, it punched it right through

So as then he stumbled down onto the shore
He began to feel as he never before

For as Thanatos came he felt life surrender
His blood further rose right down to his member

So he collapsed, made a sexual sound
His seed spilled out onto the ground

Deianeira he then set down on her feet
But still he refused, he’d not take defeat

“Well” he then said “I can not pretend
That my life has not now come to an end

“But I still have a chance – I may yet atone
I can ensure that you’ll be never alone

“For your husband’s a hero and I know well their kind
They just cannot keep one love in mind

“It will only be time ‘til he does of you tire
There’s no love eternal; Aphrodite’s a liar

“But if you will now a dying man trust
I’ll give you a way to rekindle his lust

“If together you mix all that I’ve spilt
His love for you – it never will wilt

“For that of my orchid and that of my heart
They both for you yearn, each every part

“If onto his chiton their mixture you coat
For you with love will your husband be smote”

This plot Nessos hatched for he knew my son’s trick
How his arrows were deadly with even a prick

The dread hydra’s poison was now in his blood
Which fell from his chest in a thick crimson flood

Enkindle it wouldn’t mad Passion’s flames
The potion instead would put death in his veins

But the words of the centaur, they had struck a chord
For Deianeira wished to be ever adored

So his instructions she followed – she had not a real choice
For at her husband’s seduction would many rejoice

But she never did worry – did never begrudge
Thus I did have to give her a nudge

When Oichalia fell and Lichas returned
I seized ‘pon my chance when of Iole she had learned

For ‘gainst that city Alceides bore grudge
When before their king just wouldn’t budge

There was a contest for his own daughter’s hand
But on Alceides winning he just hadn’t planned

For Eurytos was scared of my powerful son
The husband of Iole he’d not let him ‘come

So Alceides then left, accepted defeat
But now he avenged that old kings conceit

So here now was Lichas, declaring with pride
That they brought back Iole to be her son’s bride

But first they must to me sacrifice
So Alceides sent him to grab something nice

Deianeira he asked to the fineries fetch
And then I sent Envy that damnable wretch

She took on the form of a most common maid
And thus came to help when Deianeira bade

“I must mistress say”  Envy began
“I’m simply not sure that he does marriage plan

“This is the girl that he before did desire
In the sole cause of her capture to satisfy ire?

“Now it’s not that I your husband distrust
But perhaps he means to satisfy lust

“For I never have heard of a man such as him
Not yielding to every sexual whim

“If you pardon my saying for all of your vigor
You now do have a matronly figure

“Might he desire a maiden of youth?
Oh! Please forgiveness – I have been uncouth

“I’m sure he sent for this beauteous dress
Not in order to a young girl impress”

The clothing now gathered did Envy depart
Her craft she truly does turn into art

Left all alone, and Doubt having seed
Deianeira did what I did of her need

That ill fated potion she spread on the cloth
For truly that maid had made her all wroth

And though she her husband intended to keep
Soon for this action she surely would weap

For those venomous clothes Lichas brought to his master
The ritual flames had made them act faster

Aided by heat his flesh it did burn
For any relief Alceides did yearn

He tore at the fabric – it did not help at all
He tore at his flesh – to his knees did he fall

There was nothing to do – they could give no relief
They only could watch and be devoured by grief

And when it was clear he could not the venom expunge
At Lichas, his servant, he did viciously lunge

He grabbed at his ankles and spun him around
From Lichas’s lips came a horrified sound

Out he was thrown, far over the sea
While everyone else did scatter and flee

Thus to Deianeira word had returned
The cause of it all she, that potion, she learned

She did realize then Nessos’s plan
To avenge one’s own death? – they certainly can

She just couldn’t bear the grief and the guilt
There by her hand her own blood was spilt

At the same time he did with everyone plead
To help him now in this time of his need

But the assistance he asked was to help set alight
A pyre he built so he could end his own plight

No one would do it, they all from him shied
But an old friend he suddenly spied

Poias had wandered as he searched for his sheep
And he’d be the one to put Alceides to sleep

He gave him his bow what had once been his joy
That which now did him destroy

And so Poias, that king, did what my son did request
Alceides, at last, he then put to rest


I mustn’t forget I’ll hold onto his name
I simply, I must! I’ll keep it, retain!

His fate is too cruel I made him to die
Be replaced and erased – I have to now try

So as he did burn – when that last life did drain
I held in my heart Herakles name

For after all, while he is exalted in songs
It’s among us gods that he truly belongs

So now setting all of his heroics aside
Defeating the Giants would be his new pride